๐ก๐ฒ๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐ต๐ต๐ฒ๐ช๐ถ๐ผ (
isawallflower) wrote2020-11-01 10:20 pm
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Entry tags:
RYSLIG; ic inbox
WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, CHEERYCHERRY. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 019.46.820.17 *** CHEERYCHERRY has joined 019.46.820.17 <CHEERYCHERRY> It's Riley! <CHEERYCHERRY> Please leave a message! <CHEERYCHERRY> Please be someone with their priorities sorted out properly! | ||||
main: CheeryCherry
anonymous: panthera, aed
retired: gflynn (anon)
no subject
The knock, therefore, is incredibly welcome. To avoid the problem of Maple the escape artist, she places him in his soft carrier, before he can start causing trouble. She answers the door with a smile, one that stays on her face even after her hopes of a quick encounter are dashed. ]
Strange? Oh, uhm... I suppose so. I'm probably not the best person to ask, but, sure~
[ She doesn't move from the doorway, still, hoping to cut this short as she takes the cookie tin. ]
no subject
Thank you! But it's a rather, ah, private. I hate to impose, but may I come in?
[Hate to impose? Yeah fuckin' right, they both know that's bullshit. Still, she's not so cruel as to grill Riley about a murder in the hallway. And. Well she doesn't want to risk the harpy slamming the door in her face if she gets nervous.]
no subject
Um... Sure~ Come on in, make yourself...comfy.
[ She spins around to take the tin to the kitchen, that smile falling the moment she's sure Celeste can't see her face. It's going to be one of those days, isn't it? ]
no subject
Game Start!]
How gracious of you.
[Everything Celeste is not, as waits until Riley has fully turned back around to start her gambit. Nor is she the type to waste time, so no fucking around with small talk, lest Riley get up any sort of guard.]
I was speaking to Atem, and he told me about the strangest place the other day. Williams-san. Have you heard of Multiversal Museum?
no subject
Oh, god.
No, he—
He promised—
Riley's gone very still. Her face is frozen in that oh-so-face smile. ]
Heard of it, yes. I'm surprised you hadn't before.
[ Perky. Just sound upbeat and perky. It's fine. It's fine, it's fine, it's fine, he didn't figure it out from just walking in, so— ]
no subject
She crosses her legs with a flourish, and reaches for a hidden pocket in the side of her hoop-skirt]
Yes, it seemed very important! So I endeavored to visit it a few days ago, and a certain exhibit happened to catch my eye.
[She takes out a prop-knife in a little plastic bag.]
Do you remember when I told you about my classmate, the Ultimate Idol?
no subject
Why do you have that?
no subject
She laughs.
Turning the jittering nerves into something more practiced and cruel. Then the smile finally fades, and they look at each other head on.]
Well, youโre rather intelligent, why do you think I have it?
no subject
Riley's heart beats in her throat.
She's aware that Maple's in the other room still, in his carrier, and he's quietly crying through the wall. She's aware that she's frozen up entirely. But she can't do anything. Can't. ]
Stop it. St- stop. [ Not now. ]
no subject
No.
[Her more serious demeanor hasn't dropped. In gambling, she's usually playful, vindictive, cruel. Now, in the face of Riley's tears, she's just a scorching cold.]
My classmate, Sayaka Maizono. The Ultimate Idol. Do you recall when I said you reminded me of her, Williams-san?
no subject
D- don't- jus- just— get out. [ What's she talking about? What does she mean?
She doesn't move. Not an inch. ]
no subject
The Killing Game is exactly as you would expect. Not terribly creatively named: we were locked in, and told we had to kill each other to escape. Do you know what Maizono-san did, Williams-san?
[Her gaze drops, momentarily, to the knife. So, so similar it was.]
Well, I think you can guess. I suppose I was more accurate to name her than I realized. The same empty smile, the same weapon, it even took place in a bathroom.
no subject
Don't!!
[ —and she charges forward, as though she doesn't really know what she's going to do. To take the knife away? To physically force her out of her apartment? To teach her a lesson—
Oh god. Oh, god, oh god, Riley shakes and trembles and her charge stops abruptly as she goes to her knees, grips her head with both hands. ]
St- st-stop...! Stop- stop it, sh- shut up!
no subject
But Riley stops herself, gracelessly curling inward like she's trying to protect herself physically from Celeste's words.]
Tell me what happened, and I will.
cw: unintentional self-harm
How is she this bad at hiding it now? How is it this hard to keep from cracking? (Isn't she supposed to be better now—?)
Eyes shut tight, she practically spits out: ]
Why— why do all of you care?!
no subject
Other people had figured it out. Of course, that's not too surprising, Riley isn't a good liar unfortunately. Hm, she wonders who else had. But it is most certainly not the time to ask.]
Because in the end we aren't nearly as different as you like to pretend, Williams-san. [And she's not angry, not yet, but there's a vindictiveness to her words that speaks to the flirtation of temper.]
Because I have seen even the most seemingly innocent person turn on everyone for the slightest motivation. And because your false sunniness irritates me.
[Because if they ARE both murderers, why the fuck should Riley get away with it?]
cw: intentional self-harm, implied parental abuse
Fuck you! [ ...That part she doesn't mean to let slip. No, she's crumbling. Everyone's going to see, everyone's going to know that she's a liar. That she's wrong. They're all going to hate her, they're all going to hurt her, don't- don't, please, she'll be better—
Riley's body shakes. ]
No- no, y- y- you- I'm nn- not- I don't w-wanna be like that anymore!! It sh-sh- shouldn't- matter!! [ Liar. Why's she doing this? Why? Chess, Farrah, are they punishing her? ]
CW: some fucked up feelings about self harm
It does matter. Of course it fucking matters! [And out of her control, her voice is rising, raw and real to match Riley's own torment. People must be able to hear them-]
Because why the fuck do you act like you're better than any of us? Why would you deserve to pretend like you're fucking normal!?
cw: self-harm, therapy abuse/malpractice
You hypocrite, youโre all h- h- hypocrites!! Youโre lect- lecturing me, about pretending, the fucking gambler?! [ One of her hands comes detached, like sheโs unhinging herself. Bloodstained claws tap against the floor, once again dripping into her hardwood. The snarl that leaves her lips is downright animalistic. ] Whatโs wrong withโ with trying to be better?!
[ Little comments from sessions with Danny swim through her mind. They wrap around her, about this being engrained in her (no, he said, what he meant was itโs something sheโs been dealing with for a long while), about the other girls placing their trust in her (no, no, of course he didnโt mean she broke it on purpose), little things she keepsโ misinterpreting, of course, but things that sink into her like knifes nevertheless. She knows, she knows, sheโ
Pushes up from one of her knees, the left side limp and loose like a puppet with its string a cut. Her hair fans out into a crest, making herself bigger, angrier. ]
Iโm not l-l-l- like him!!
cw: vague abuse implications
The yelling sets her teeth on edge, makes her fur spike up - old instincts deeper than the wolf's, alarmed and anxious from the noise alone. She almost wants to hide - but those voices are familiar, she realizes, both of them are recognizable as soon as she tunes in. Celeste and Riley - they're fighting.
She's up and making her way over within seconds. It doesn't sound like either of them are going to back down, and she can't handle it if either of them get hurt. So she does what she always has - she gets in the middle, ready to redirect. She slips in like a shadow, gently putting herself between the two other girls, paws up peaceably as she looks down at her roommate first.]
Celeste, stop.
This isn't - helping.
[Her voice is low and soft. She's trying her best to soothe Celeste rather than make it seem like she's being judged.]
oops all screaming
She tries to lean around Mukuro's body to point in Riley's face, blind and deaf with rage-]
I'm a hypocrite? I'm a fucking hypocrite?? At least I don't spend all my goddamn time trying to convince people I'm a helpless child!
[She spits out a harsh not-laugh at the phrase 'be better.']
Yeah, be better because god forbid you're just as fucking bad as the rest of us! No, you have to be better!
the self-harm is just gonna continue
"She is harmless and shy, and will never speak up, 'cause—"
The hesitation, the moment where she looks at Mukuro in concern, it passes as Celeste laughs. As she calls her— ]
You wanna- wanna s-s- see- see who's helpless—?! [ The hand still digging into her arm, it goes deeper, harder, as blood drips down her arm. She lurches forward, still on one knee, one foot. Tries to go around Mukuro. ] This- this- this hasn't ever be- been about- you, but fine, fine, fine—
[ If girls don't have your back, you've got to—
She sees red, the same red that drips from her claws, as she tries to pounce. ]
cw: more of the same, abuse implications
[In the corner of her vision, she sees movement, danger, and reacts without thinking - she whirls to face Riley, ready to catch her out of the air and hold her in a tight embrace. Even if those talons sink into her, instead, she won't flinch. She's gone through worse, in a much more fragile form. She just waits for a few breaths, then gently sets Riley back down, soft yellow eyes on hers.]
...Riley, it's okay.
[The softest murmur of reassurance, before Mukuro turns back to Celeste and scoops her up. Much like a large dog scruffing an angry cat. It's time to stop. She trots back to their apartment, deposits Celeste onto her own bed, and - leans to give her a very brief nuzzle before slipping back out. She isn't trying to take sides here, she completely understands why both of them are so volatile, she just - hates the fighting. And it's not helping either of them.]
cw: abuse reference - aha-haaaaaa
And then Mukuro is between them, speaking lowly to Riley and Celeste isn't even fully aware of the words coming out of her mouth-]
Fine then, if you're so damn determined just fucking kill me why don't you-!
[And then Mukuro has Celeste up over her shoulder, the movement cutting off her sound in surprise. Mukuro lifts her straight off the ground and uses three of her legs to propel them both down the hallway to their apartment door.]
What are you doing?
[Once Riley is out of sight, she stops shouting. But her throat is raw, tearing at her voice and she's still so so angry. Why could Riley be normal? Why did she get everything they couldn't? She hates her so much. She hates her happiness and kindness and security-
Mukuro sets her down on her bed quickly, smoothly, with obvious care. There's an unexpected affectionate press as if to say stay here. And the door shuts behind her. In the deafening silence, the full implications of what she's done sink in. Like when she would be between games, and her keepers would just shut her away because she couldn't be useful or good enough.
Celeste... Doesn't want to be here if Mukuro comes back.
It takes only a moment to open the window and clamber out of it. She needs. She- she doesn't know. But she isn't needed here. Not when Mukuro has people like Riley and Steve and. and Naegi.]
cw: dissociation, panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, homicidal ideation, just in general bad
And suddenly, itโs gone. The support, the kindness, because suddenly Mukuroโs taking Celeste away, and sheโs left alone in the silence, with just her own distant gasps to keep her company.
See what happens when they know?
Her gasps and the usual poison, directed inward now that thereโs nowhere to spit it. Every positive exampleโGiorno, Eridanus, Atem despite the assumed betrayal, Cersei whoโs gone, gone nowโfalls away. Her claws curl into her arm, tighter, tighter, though she doesnโt know if she can feel it. It doesnโt matter that Celeste doesnโt like her, has never liked her. It doesnโt matter that Celeste seems determined to cut and push her, every conversation they have. All Riley can think, curled on the floor of her apartment, waiting for the world to end, is that this is what sheโs supposed to be, and everyone will treat her like that, when they know.
Broken little monster. Never couldโve been good enough. Shouldn't try. Just kill them, you donโt needโ
She can barely breathe as she curls in on herself, just a ball of feathers in an empty room. ]
(no subject)
cw: gore, intrusive thoughts
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
cw: drugging, parasite talk
(no subject)
cw: self-harm mentions
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
cw: self-harm discussions, this thread is a nightmare
cw: self harm and abusive homes, hooray
cw: self harm and abusive homes, continued!
cw: hoo boy, see above
cw: hoo boy, see above
cw: Very Bad Parents!!
cw: Parents SO Bad!!
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
cw: therapy malpractice mention
(no subject)