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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, CHEERYCHERRY. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 019.46.820.17 * CHEERYCHERRY has joined 019.46.820.17 <CHEERYCHERRY> It's Riley! <CHEERYCHERRY> Please leave a message! <CHEERYCHERRY>** Please be someone with their priorities sorted out properly!

main: CheeryCherry
anonymous: panthera, aed
retired: gflynn (anon)

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[ ... ]

I told you before a little about a cat I wanted as a kid. The one I named my cat here after.
He was stuck in a tree and it was raining, and no one was helping him even though he was crying so loud.
I taught myself how to climb all the way up and got him down. I brought him home.

My parents had him taken away. I don't know what happened to him. They were just mad I made a scene.

I don't know what else you could've done, Rachel. I really wish I did.

Oh no...

[That doesn't feel like enough to express the sinking in her heart, but...oh. Oh no. If it was anything like when the police came and took her parents' bodies away, then... Poor Riley. Poor little kitty.]

After it trusted you and everything, too. That's awful.

Were your parents no good?

[ It's not a nice story. But it's the only way she can express just how much she understands. ]

Really no good.
They only cared about what I could accomplish.
When it turned out that was nothing, they stopped pretending to love me.

Everything I did was to try and convince them I was good enough. I was too afraid to accept nothing could've worked.

[ Rachel asked her, what is she afraid of? And, though she dodged and deflected, still... Riley answers. ]

[Riley was someone that couldn't accomplish anything...? There's a small part of her that's elated to read that, one that's ready to report back to Aunamee because if that was true, then there really was no reason to bother with her, even if she did understand their feelings. But that little part is swept aside by her better judgment and the thought that the same has been said before about herself -- all she did was stand around and creepily stare, only good at making her family miserable.]

That's how I felt about God. It was scary.

Did you kill them, too?

No.

Now I wish more than anything they’d been the people I killed. The ones who deserved it.

Maybe you can someday. I went back to that place for a while before this time, so it isn't impossible.

Otherwise...this place likes to show fake version of people sometimes. I've seen my parents here before even if they weren't real. It might not be the same, but it's better than nothing, isn't it?

If I go back there, there's not anything waiting for me, Rachel. There's only one way the rest of it can go.

[ She breathes out, slowly. That way has to be prison. ...She'd prefer it be prison, rather than the other logical conclusion, from what Cairo told her. If she had to live with hurting her... Killing her— ]

I do know about the false versions of other people. I've seen it a few times before but
I don't know. I just wish I'd done that instead, you know?
Maybe I could've actually been friends with the girls I killed.

Oh. I didn't know you were dead, too.

[If there's only one way for it to go, with nothing else waiting, then that's how it is, isn't it?]

I think it's worth trying if they ever come here. Right?

What?
No I'm not

Rachel, you're dead?

Ah

I forget who knows and who doesn’t. Don’t feel bad for me, Miss Riley! It’s really something I’m fine with. I did everything I wanted to in that place.

But that's horrible!
You're only a teenager, you shouldn't be dead!!

[...squints at this reply and tries very hard not to judge Riley too much...]

There isn't a place for someone like me in that world. The closest was where I met Zack, and we left it together. If I didn't die, I probably would have spent my life alone in a facility taking medicine that wouldn't cure me and thinking about killing myself.

[ please judge her rachel. please. ]

Someone should've tried to make a place for you there
A real one, somewhere you could feel safe.

It's not fair that death was your only option.

...People did try. Dr. Danny built me something just like my house so I could live with him instead. He brought me anything and everything. Toys, food, clothes, books... But that isn't what I wanted. Later there was a boy that made me a beautiful headstone. I couldn't accept that either.

My death wasn't sad or ugly, Miss Riley. It was the happiest I'd ever felt in my life. Dying that way... It was exactly what I wanted and made me feel more accepted than any gift ever could. Even if "my perfect home" existed, it wouldn't have made me happier than that moment.

[ They should've tried harder she types but then deletes. They should've listened to what you wanted she tries.

But... Rachel's telling her what she wanted, and Riley's flat-out refusing it. She's talking around it.

This doesn't feel right. But she doesn't feel equipped for it, either. She wishes...Rachel had more people—anyone, really—before she'd gotten to that point. ]

Do you still want that here?
To die?

It's a little more complicated here, since Miss Fog brings people back to life. I still feel like someone that doesn't deserve to live, so I do still want to die...but the one I really want to kill me isn't here. More than that, dying here means that I could lose the precious memories I was able to make. I don't want to forget those things.

Because of that, I've decided to live. I won't die and I won't hide who I am.

[ Like she doesn't deserve to live... Because she killed her father? Because of what she did after? It breaks her heart. She needed help. She needed something to work, something to...

Riley keeps looking at that. She would've spent her life in a facility taking medicine that wouldn't cure her and thinking about killing herself. Not living, just existing. Is...that what Riley has waiting for her? Life locked up somewhere until she can't take it anymore?

She can't help Rachel. She can't even help herself. ]

I'm glad.
I don't want you to die or lose memories.
You aren't like other people, sure.
But you're still you.

Thank you, Miss Riley. I'm sorry that we can understand each other in a lot of ways, but I'm glad for it! Getting to talk to someone about these things sometimes is pretty fun.

[ ...Oh. ]

You know
You can just call me Riley.
I think after all this, we're friends. Right?

[ Maybe...there is something she can do for Rachel, after all. ]

[Hm?

Hm??? Friends? With her?

...]

I think I'd like that, Riley.

[Friends...!]

[ She's a sweet girl. Strange, but so's Riley herself. And... She really never thought she'd find someone who understood her in this way.

Rachel's right. It is nice. ]

You wanna hear about some more weird cold cases?

Yes!

Great! Let's start with another Australian case, the Mystery of the Somerton Man...

[ It's weird. It's morbid. But they're having a good time. And that's all that matters. ]

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<CheeryCherry> cw implied animal cruelty

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< r.gardner > you ever go to write warnings but instead end up sighing, medical and suicide stuff ig

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<CheeryCherry> cw we are just gonna be talking about suicide for awhile now

< r.gardner > ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ray staple

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