isawallflower | RYSLIG; ic inbox

[He makes a noise, soft in agreement. Days, yes.]

It's July first. To be honest, I didn't know you could do that either. This place is just full of surprises. [He smiles, but in the most irritated way imaginable. It's a "the manager will hear about this" smile.]

[Sarcasm aside, though, this isn't about him and his opinions. It's about Riley, who is becoming increasingly awake and capable of freaking out. He looks down at her critically.] Have you eaten anything? Or did you just get up and start flying right away?

[ The soft whimpers that escape Riley's mouth are almost...appreciative. Some of Celeste's words bounce around her head like a pinball. About how she makes herself look weak and defenseless. She's never tried to do that; in fact, she's wanted very badly to be strong. To show she can take care of herself, to never bother anyone else. ]

Not— not just for this. For...that night.

[ Mukuro brought her to safety. After everything...

It makes her hold on tighter, as little she can. ]

Edited 2021-07-09 06:34 (UTC)

I just told you that it's okay for you to talk to me about whatever.

Like, if I don't want to, I can just tell you.

[ Okay mostly. Usually she's quite the people-pleaser, but. Well, she thinks she can actually keep her end of that this time. Like she doesn't particularly want to talk about Aunamee. Or excessive murder. Or stuff like that. ]

[ It's a good thing Giorno has a good hold on her, because hearing the date shakes Riley. ]

That...long...? [ That's a lot more than days! ] Oh. Oh, wow. Um. No. No, I haven't— I wanted to get out of my apartment, the air was- ...it felt stale.

[ Like when she'd died in there. Unlived in. She couldn't take it, not right now. ]

[Oh. Riley clinging to her makes her own embrace tighten a little. It's okay, she's not going anywhere.]

Of course.
I couldn't just leave you there; you were really sick. I was - worried.

[So much so that Mukuro had to act immediately, rather than find someone else to help. For the best, it seems.]

...I - promised. Right...?
To - to help you.
And I - it's the least I could do. To make up for - everything.

[For hurting her, for killing her, for losing control of herself and betraying Riley's trust in her.]

[ Why?

He doesn't know what else to be besides sorry. It's done. There's nothing he can do. Nothing, except condense how much he hates that it happened and wishes it didn't into two words.

Nothing, except hold her so she can't doubt that he's here for her, just hoping that it helps. ]

I'm not good at this.

[ Maybe that's his problem, and has been all along. ]

Knowing what to say when someone's really suffering, how to handle it... so if there's anything I can do, please tell me.

I didn't know that extended to whenever, too. If you could tell me your honest feelings about things, that would be a big help to me, though. Thanks.

[ This is a message that’s been left for Riley as opposed to one that was sent and intended to be acknowledged at that specific time. A contingency plan to dampen her surprise regarding some stuff whenever she wakes up. ]

so a few things have happened while you’ve been out

i’m a business owner
and also a mermaid

and doc skeletor running that school is still saying it’s up to us to pick a mascot
i’ve got an idea, but it involves the dance he’s putting on next week

miss you, riles

hope you get to read this soon

[ No one ever said it was a well-composed message. ]

Mm. I see.

[He can't really blame her, not with that reasoning. Even without anything else in play, he'd want to flee. So there's no point lecturing, really. She knows as well as he does that it's a bad habit, but this time . . . well.]

[All right. That's settled, then. He lets her go properly and gives a decisive nod.] Let's go get something to eat, then. Your pick. [Which means, somewhere under there, that she gets to decide what kind of sustenance they're going for. If it's food or food.]

[But before they go — he looks over his shoulder at samples guy and calls out,] Hey! You dropped this.

[And he chucks back his wallet in an easy underhand throw. Samples guy catches it, seeming just incredibly bewildered. There is no cash left in that wallet. There were only like ten solars in the first place, but still. Rude.]

[Anyway. He turns back to Riley, who's more important, and offers his arm.] Come on. [He doesn't know the phrase "let's blow this popsicle stand", but that's the vibe he's giving off.]

I— I w- was so...scared—

[ To admit this feels wrong. To open up further feels wrong. And yet, Mukuro already knows what she's tried so hard to keep hidden. She knows her biggest and greatest secret. Isn't a little vulnerability warranted?

It's obvious, what she's saying. And yet— ]

I- it- it tried- tried to- keep me calm, but it only made- made me m-more...

[ And then Mukuro killed her. And yet, despite that, Riley won't let go. It's a strange and upsetting contradiction, as her pulse still pounds when she thinks of it, of teeth descending on her and just how easily her bones shattered—but at the same time, she remembers tender care, singing to her on the beach, the smallest, most imperceptible smile.

It's complicated. It's all complicated, far more than Riley's ever let herself be, and now, now—

She's too tired to fight that. ]

[ After a long moment of pressing herself against his side and wishing that very act wasn't hurting him, she shakes her head very subtly. ]

I don't... I've never...died before.

[ How weird and fucked up is it that this is their reality? ]

...Just...stay here? For- I'm sorry, I know— just for...a little while.

I think I can handle that.
I'd ask for the same but you seem like a really honest kid.

[ Before bolting to get some fresh air and take a rejuvenating flight, Riley reads over Steve's message. Frankly, she should've sent something in response, but there's a lot to work through. To her, it'd just been yesterday when Atem and Aunamee of all people pulled her from the treant.

So, after a full day out, she sits back down and reads it all over again. ]

I'm up. Sorry for not messaging back sooner but I had to stretch my wings. Giorno got me a little more up to speed.

I'll hear out your idea but I am NOT attending any dances without a very good reason.

Sorry for crashing. I hope I didn't worry you too much.

But you seriously need to leave more detail if this ever happens again. A business owner?? A mermaid?! How?! Are these related?!!!

[ ...After everything she's still Riley. ]

[ Your pick, he says, and Riley's lips twitch slightly. The harpy in her itches to grab something or someone in her talons. It wants to rip into someone, like she'd done in the dream world—

Her feathers ruffle slightly at the thought of all of that. There's so much she barely let herself think about. Now, weeks have passed and she hasn't processed any of it. Normally she'd just push it all down, but...

Blissfully, Giorno provides another distraction in the form of the wallet. As she almost absentmindedly takes his arm, she lowers her voice. ]

Did...that guy really drop his wallet?

[ The food question's going unanswered, at least for the moment. ]

[Oh, she said it. They knew, they both knew already - how could they not? - but voicing it made it so much more real. Impossible to ignore. It's so rare for anyone to open themselves up like that, but for Riley - always so tense, always trying to be perfect - it must be so much harder. Mukuro curls over Riley as much as she can, hugging her tight to her fluffy chest. There's guilt like bile in her throat, but how she feels isn't important right now - the only important thing is making sure Riley is okay. As okay as any of them can be, here.]

...I know. And I - I'm sorry, Riley, I didn't mean--

[She swallows a little, and tries again. Because she did mean to, in the end. It had been a very calculated move. Much moreso than her panicked feral fighting had been before it.]

I never wanted to - to h-hurt you. I didn't - I wasn't thinking right, I don't - I don't know. I've never felt - so panicked, n-not - not in ages, I can usually stay calm, I should've been - better.

I'm so sorry.

[ Better.

As her fingers curl into Mukuro's fur, as they grip tightly, her blood smears on the pelt for the second time in so many weeks—though this time, Riley inflicted those injuries on herself. This time, it's really her. This time, they aren't fighting one another. ]

It—[ She practically whimpers. Presses her forehead against Mukuro's chest. ] I h- hated...watching. A- again. A-and— Steve and— and Atem, wh-when they— had- had one of those things in them, it—

[ She takes just a moment, to try and get one thought clear in her head. ]

Y-you were— scared. I n-never... Never wanted...to make some- someone... T-to trick someone, like that again.

S— sorry.

[ The fear. She understands it. Having someone you trust piloted by someone else, how much it can fuck with your head. How horrified she was, when she thought she killed Steve. How much you'd do anything not to have your body taken away from you. ]

Edited 2021-08-02 05:00 (UTC)

[Ah. That's who got her, Steve or Atem - Steve had shown up half-dead when it was all over, so it had to have been Atem. Easily underestimated. It had taken her and Celeste to bring him down. Perks to being undead. Really, she's lucky harpies are more fragile--

The thought makes her sick, and she turns from it like jerking away from a hot stove. That wolf ruthlessness had kept her alive, like it had for so many years, but god, she's not used to this kind of cost. She doesn't want to get used to it. As much as it would be easier to just turn off her feelings, she knows she can't. It's so, so hard - it feels impossible, with Riley's blood and tears soaking into her fur.]

It's okay.
I know it wasn't you. You didn't want to. It's okay.

[Her voice is low and soft, thrumming in her chest. She still has the scars on the side of her muzzle and down her back, but those are so much more easily forgotten than the one across Riley's throat. Even as she murmurs reassurances, her thoughts tick along steadily, mulling over exactly what Riley had said. When she speaks again, her voice is slow and stilted with the effort of translating vague feelings into words. It's not something she's had much practice with and it shows.]

I think - that's why I - got out of control. The - the tricking.
It's not your fault. I'm not upset. But when it happened, it was like - it felt like - when I died.

Edited 2021-08-02 05:37 (UTC)

Zack hates liars, and I've accepted who I am now. I don't have a reason to lie.

...Actually, I know a lot of people that hate liars...

When- when you—

[ It makes sense, doesn't it? When you're reminded of them, of the horrible things that've happened to you...you panic. Riley used to only freeze whenever that happened. ...She still wishes— ]

...Mukuro, I— I'm...

[ She said she wasn't upset, but Riley can't fathom how that could be. ]

[ People that hate liars... ]

Is your dad one of them?

[ Well, in a way... this makes it easier to put the fact that she was a coma patient just yesterday behind them. ]

WOW, ok
i'm not thorough enough, but you had time to talk to giovanna?

if you were really dying to know more, then you also had time to come find me
WAY easier to elaborate that way instead of leaving you some giant essay

but i forgive you

i'm just glad you're awake

i was starting to wonder if you were gonna need physical therapy by the time you snapped out of it

[For once, it's easy for her to tell what Riley's feeling, even though she leaves it unsaid. Riley's need to be good is something Mukuro's seen enough to remember, even if it wasn't something so close to her heart. She tucks her snout down to nose at her, murmuring softly near her feathery ear.]

I know it wasn't you. You didn't trick or hurt me. You didn't want to do - anything bad to me.

[Her body was being used against her will. Unlike Mukuro, who was (mostly) in control of herself, and knew everything she did hurt Riley as much or more than the actual target. She has to swallow back the guilt before she speaks again.]

But I - I still - hurt you. It wasn't your fault and I still hurt you. I sh-should have -

[Another little swallow.]

I should have been - more - h-humane. Or just - just let you win.

First of all! I just ran into Giorno, okay. He thought I'd be hungry after all of that. Yes I COULD HAVE gone to see you, but apparently you're a business owner now!
How was I to know if you'd be home?

Don't even jokes about physical therapy. I feel a little off but it really is like I just took a really long sleep.

riley, riley, riley

[ Tut-tut! ]

that's the beauty of being a business owner
i get to decide my own hours

you're speaking to the shelter's new top dog

Yes.

RYSLIG; ic inbox

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< r.gardner >

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< r.gardner >

backdated to the 1st

in fairness to giorno the real issue is that i can no longer process the passage of time

cw: drugging, parasite talk

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<CheeryCherry> ; oh i hecked that previous username rip

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honestly who the FUCK can process the passage of time

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cw: self-harm mentions

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< r.gardner > lmao I didn't even notice oops...

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<CheeryCherry>

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< r.gardner >

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, CHEERYCHERRY. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 019.46.820.17 * CHEERYCHERRY has joined 019.46.820.17 <CHEERYCHERRY> It's Riley! <CHEERYCHERRY> Please leave a message! <CHEERYCHERRY>** Please be someone with their priorities sorted out properly!