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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, CHEERYCHERRY. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 019.46.820.17 * CHEERYCHERRY has joined 019.46.820.17 <CHEERYCHERRY> It's Riley! <CHEERYCHERRY> Please leave a message! <CHEERYCHERRY>** Please be someone with their priorities sorted out properly!

main: CheeryCherry
anonymous: panthera, aed
retired: gflynn (anon)

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[ Riley is fully feeling all of her twenty years. It is perhaps hypocritical, but she finds herself a little exhausted thinking about how utterly teenage this is.

Never mind the fact that she only turned twenty about a month ago. Nor the fact that she's exhausted partly because it's a sort of teenage she never dealt with until here, considered herself not qualified for. Never mind any of that. ]

First of all I think you should take this with a grain of salt because it's not coming from Donnie himself, okay?
Second of all... When someone likes "girls who are mean" that typically is a sign they [ are a bit of a freak ] enjoy a kind of excitement from a relationship. They like to be challenged, whether they realize it or not. It comes from being drawn to a dynamic person.

[TRUST HER, RILEY, SHE KNOWS IT'S DUMB. SHE PREFACED THIS BY SAYING IT WAS SILLY. SHE FEELS SIMULTANEOUSLY THIRTEEN AND THIRTY AND SHE HATES IT.]

I feel like I can trust the opinion, given the situation at the time, but you're right.

[The way Riley puts it...is a lot better than what anyone else has been able to say! Ray actually feels okay about it, now.]

Oh. That's not bad at all.
I think that makes sense for me, too.
Not that "mean" didn't, but since he kept insisting I was kind, it was confusing.

Did your "normal" friends talk about this sort of thing a lot?
You're pretty good at knowing what to say, I think.

This was sort of all everyone talked about sometimes.
Who likes who, how to get him or her to fall for me, etc.
I kind of thought it was all a little beneath me for awhile.

Or, really it's that the relationships I tried at failed because I hadn't realized I didn't like boys, so I stopped trying.
It's not like I had a great example set forth for me by my parents, you know?

[ This isn't something she'd admit to someone normally, but. Well, It's Ray. ]

[She nods along with full agreement even though Riley can't see her, though she does have to pause to think on one of the statements.]

Yeah.

I didn't know you didn't like boys. [Does...she like girls, then? Or nobody? More importantly:] How did you know for sure?
I'm worried I can't have feelings like that. Thinking about it... I keep imagining things like my parents. Things weren't good with them, either.

[ oh my god. oh my god did she not-

okay so like the only people she's come out to in the traditional sense were steve and giorno and...sort of cairo but they also sort of just started kissing did she not tell racHEL?!

Pause for Riley momentarily panicking, water is wet. ]

I'm so sorry!! It slipped my mind that I hadn't actually told you, nor many people. I've only recently started being open about having a girlfriend, and I'd known her for a very, very long time before that.
It was a very long process to figure it out and honestly if it wasn't for some of the experiences I had here, I'm not sure I would have. Things that helped open my eyes to my real desires.

[ And... Well... ]

I understand not thinking you can be happy like this because of your parents, though. Mine were largely my model for relationships as well... And they rarely seemed to even like each other.
But you have to know... You aren't them. You don't HAVE to be them.

You're already dating someone?

[DAMN, THAT WAS FAST, SHE JUST LEARNED YOU WERE GAY, GOSH]

Congratulations, Sis.

Nope. I'm only Rachel Gardner.
Still, I'm not really someone people think of when they talk about this sort of thing.

[And now she has to wonder if maybe she also would like girls, since Riley reminds her a lot of herself? Hrmn. At least she's thinking about all these things at once instead of being blindsided by the question later. That's definitely how it works.]

[ AAAAAAA- ]

Yes, my friend from home. The one I live with. It was sort of a long and slightly stupid process.

And that I think is something you should remember! Because no one really thought of me when they thought of dating, either. But WE get to define ourselves, not other people! And if you would like to explore this and date this boy, then I think you're perfectly allowed to!!

[ really channeling the ted talks today huh riley ]

[Long and slightly stupid... Yeah, that sounds about right. Right, what was her name again, though... River? Nile? It was...something with Egypt...! Ah!]

Cairo?
If you two are special to each other, I'm glad. I hope you're really happy.
But...let me know if she doesn't take care of you like she should. I don't want your happiness taken from you.

...Haha. If you were more crude and threatening, you'd really remind me of Zack there. Except I think talking about this would make him sick.

[ oh no RAY,, ]

Yes! But you don't have to worry about her doing anything like that, Ray! It can be complicated sometimes, dealing with emotions and relationships, but we're doing better than we have in a long time.

[ Riley does not want her little sister to try and...well. Do Rachel Gardner things in Cairo's direction just because the two of them have a history of...somewhat volatile banter. ]

I suppose your Zack and I have a few things in common then. We both want what's best for you. :)

Good. I'll rely on you to tell me if you need me, then.

[Cairo is probably safe.]

Well...sort of. A lot of people would probably argue that he doesn't, but what they think doesn't matter unless they try to get in our way.
He wants me to be true to who I am and not let others make excuses or decisions for me. If it weren't for him...I don't think I could feel like I have something worth living for while I'm here.

Of course.

[ please don't melt her girlfriend slime sis ]

Right, I know that your relationship is complicated by nature. But I'm grateful to him, because it sounds like he helped you so much to understand yourself. I'm glad that he's been in your life, even if I can't fully understand it. That's not for me, it's for you, right?

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