RYSLIG; ic inbox

[isawallflower]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, CHEERYCHERRY. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 019.46.820.17 *** CHEERYCHERRY has joined 019.46.820.17 <CHEERYCHERRY> It's Riley! <CHEERYCHERRY> Please leave a message! <CHEERYCHERRY> Please be someone with their priorities sorted out properly!

main: CheeryCherry
anonymous: panthera, aed
retired: gflynn (anon)

Comments

cw brief mention of self sacrifice

[knifemonopoly]

[He shakes his head. With finality:]

Nothing is worth sacrificing the life of a friend.

[Hypocrite. Not that he remembers it, deciding his own life was an acceptable cost.]

I'd never send some people back to their own worlds if the cost was your life, your future. And Mukuro's, and Lust's, and all of the others who've made a home here. People get married, Riley! It's not right to separate them without giving them a choice.

[He doesn't pull her into anything closer, but he does keep a hand on her arm.]

Some people need to go home to be happy. But their happiness doesn't matter more than yours. They can wait, until a way to do it that doesn't destroy other people's lives can be found.

cw: self-harm mentions

[isawallflower]

[ He's right. She knows— Dr. McGuckett and Mr. Evangelisti, Cassandra and Elsa, Maya and Dandy— so many people have found happiness here that they couldn't before. It's not just her. But, still, the things he says, everything, it's— ]

My...

[ One of her hands rests on her forearm, at a layer of feathers. There's a strong, unbearable desire to pull them out one by one. To pick and pick and pick, as if it'll help. The girl is stressed, and the bird is stressed too, offering its strategies. Riley knows all that'll do is hurt, and make it impossible to hide her discomfort.

She wants to be more honest. She does. But you can't just shake a lifetime of mental conditioning with one awful month. ]

That's allowed? You said— my happiness. It matters...just as much as- as Steve's, or Giorno's, or- Yugi's.

[ Her eyes plead and search his. ]

That's really...really what you think?

[knifemonopoly]

[..."allowed"...?

...oh, Riley. He feels a little like his heart is going to break, as he looks back into her eyes, that are searching his for honesty.

It's been funny, getting to know her. Not in a ha-ha way, in a "nothing here is what you'd think" way. The confident enthusiasm of Riley Soelberg was one of a few shining outer layers; work hard enough to slip past them, and you'll see the center has been eaten away, leaving a girl who asks, because she's not sure, if her happiness matters as much as other friends'.

His other hand comes up to her other shoulder.

He nods, once, firmly. Yes, it's what Atem thinks. Of course it is.]

And I would never exchange one for the other.

It's something that's far too precious to trade away!

[The solution to Ryslig, when they find it, has to account for all of them, or it's no good.]

[isawallflower]

[ Allowed.

It’s impossible to shake it. She’s done horrible things. Has been a horrible person. In her attempts to make a difference, she’s made everything worse, again and again and again. She’s finally recognized her faults and flaws, and now they will not and cannot be hidden away again. They’re a big bright flashing sign for the world to see, because they’re a big bright flashing sign for her to see, and she’s tired, tired of being the only one to look at it. It was there, and she couldn’t keep her eyes from being drawn to it every day.

Riley needs help. Riley needs punishment. Both are, for her, true. At war. A contradiction she can’t reconcile.

Is she allowed? Will she get in trouble for it?

She can’t stop thinking it. Can’t.

Again she blinks back tears. Again, she can’t— think, can’t find the words to say. ]

Oh. [ So small, so vulnerable. ] …Oh- okay. Okay.

[ She’s allowed. Somehow, she’s allowed. ]