𝓡𝓲𝓵𝓮𝔂 𝓦𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓪𝓶𝓼 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
isawallflower) wrote2020-11-01 10:20 pm
isawallflower) wrote2020-11-01 10:20 pm
Entry tags:
RYSLIG; ic inbox
WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, CHEERYCHERRY. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 019.46.820.17 *** CHEERYCHERRY has joined 019.46.820.17 <CHEERYCHERRY> It's Riley! <CHEERYCHERRY> Please leave a message! <CHEERYCHERRY> Please be someone with their priorities sorted out properly! | ||||
main: CheeryCherry
anonymous: panthera, aed
retired: gflynn (anon)
no subject
[ He lets out a dragging sigh as she self-deprecates; it's hard to listen to. ]
It's not stupid. You're not stupid. Your team, they're not what's stupid, either. Your family fucked you up. [ And this is the point in his rambling where he starts to sound a little incensed. ] Yeah, if it weren't for them, I bet you wouldn't be thinking like that, like... like you have to be perfect at something for it to matter, yeah?
[ He gesticulates a little helplessly. ]
You'd know how to cut yourself some slack.
no subject
You're...angry for me?
no subject
[ He leans back and looks down at his lap, as if he hadn't even realized that fact yet himself.
All he'd wanted to do was try to point out that maybe she wouldn't be so in the dumps about all of this if she let herself try other hobbies. That basing her entire perception of her own worth on one, single thing that wasn't really in any one person's control was, maybe... you know, bad from the start?
And now they're here. ]
Yeah, I guess I am.
no subject
No one's ever... [ And she trails off.
It was unspoken, with her and Cairo. A few hints here and there, but they never really talked about it. Riley knew her family wasn't like other families, on some level, but. There's things you just don't talk about.
Some things you learn to accept and put away and not get jealous, or mad, or upset.
Here Riley was, expecting what she'd consider a scolding, but instead receiving this. ]
...I think you're right. I was...never this bad, in the other world. Like...in all the memories we have. It wasn't until everything started...going sideways, that I...
[ Started repeating old forgotten habits. Getting obsessive. Killed Aunamee in a haze. ]
no subject
It sure seems that way. It seems that way to him, when he has a better perspective than most. One of his last memories from their other life was of Riley purposefully skipping school to go see her favorite radio drama actress—and consequently skipping cheer practice, too.
If this Riley had even thought about doing that, he feels like her nerves would have just gone Chernobyl on her on the spot. ]
I just hope you can see that Cairo had the right idea.
no subject
[ A sort of half-smile comes to her lips, the sort made not when you’re happy but when you’re uncomfortable. ]
I just… I wanted to make them proud of me. Or…or even like me. My mom always said something about…how if you weren’t talented, you had to work all that much harder, and I… I guess I have to try and…stop thinking like that.
[ It’s easier said than done. But, maybe this is a start. ]
no subject
He breathes out, pushing through the anger to give her the look of sympathy she actually needs. ]
If you try, I'll be proud of you.
cw: abuse logic
It's scary to say right now. But Steve's looking at her in a way her own parents—or her own brother—never did. That helps. Like a soothing balm on ancient burns. ]
...Okay. Then...I'll try.
[ Steve being proud of her is better. It's better than anything her parents have ever made her feel. ]