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[isawallflower]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, CHEERYCHERRY. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 019.46.820.17 *** CHEERYCHERRY has joined 019.46.820.17 <CHEERYCHERRY> It's Riley! <CHEERYCHERRY> Please leave a message! <CHEERYCHERRY> Please be someone with their priorities sorted out properly!

main: CheeryCherry
anonymous: panthera, aed
retired: gflynn (anon)

Comments

[isawallflower]

[ When she realizes where Giorno's going with this, Riley feels it. A heavy lump, sitting in her throat. Her? Not selfish? She tries to open her mouth to tell him he's wrong, but nothing comes out. It distracts her, and she doesn't realize her eyes are brimming until Giorno blurs into green watercolor against the backdrop of her apartment.

She blinks quickly to hide it. She probably doesn't do a very good job. ]

That, uh. [ It's so much. His praise, it's almost too heavy. ] You... Wow.

[ ...She needs a minute. ]

[digiorno]

[He's looking at her, of course. He's watching, like he always watches, careful to tailor what he's saying to her reactions. This is how he always interacts with people, except Riley, usually. All of the things he's saying are true, but still . . . he wants to make sure to help, not to hurt. So he's careful.]

[Right up until she starts crying, and then he blinks rapidly in panic.]

Oh. Oh, no. You're crying. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—

[protagonist.exe has stopped working]

[isawallflower]

[ Shit, he saw! Riley brings a hand up to cover her eyes and only then realizes...this is really silly, isn't it? This is...kind of stupid.

She laughs. It's wet and soft, but she laughs. ]

They're happy tears, Giorno!

[digiorno]

. . . Oh.

[He knew that. He absolutely knew that. Uh.]

I still . . . didn't mean to. I was trying to help. . . . But I meant what I said. I wouldn't lie to you about something like this.

[isawallflower]

[ Still she's hiding her eyes. But she's smiling. That much he should be able to see, a smile, a real smile, unlike the mask she wears to pretend everything's fine. ]

I know- I know. [ And she means that. She knows he wouldn't placate her with false platitudes. ] ...You really think that- highly of me.

[digiorno]

[It's a real smile. He can tell, because it's messy and imperfect and complicated. It doesn't look perfect, and it doesn't look tight. She means it.]

[Tentatively, he smiles back.]

Of course I do. I think you're an incredible person, Riley.

[isawallflower]

[ She sniffles and it turns into a bit of a squeak as she sinks her head closer to her collarbone. ]

St- stop. You're- doing it on purpose now.

[ On purpose, praising her? Trying to make her feel better? She'll never get used to having family like this. ]

[digiorno]

I am not!

[Like, he is, but also he isn't! It's complicated!!]

I just have to correct you. It's important to be honest, you know. About how much you mean to me, and how much I care about you. But also, objectively, you're wonderful.

[He is an objective source. Period! End of sentence! Don't question him!]

[isawallflower]

[ The touched smile stays. But Riley does look away a little. ]

There are some people who would take big issue with that.

[digiorno]

You must know by now that I don’t care what anyone else thinks.

[He says it with a hint of teasing, but he understands her point.]

What matters most is how you feel about yourself. No matter what anyone else says, those words are only tools given to you or weapons sent to damage you. They can help to shape or to break your own vision of yourself.

I know you don’t see yourself the way I do. But I want to believe that you — really you, on your best day, not your worst thoughts in your worst moments, not the things you’ve heard people like Aunamee say to hurt you — don’t see yourself as a monster, either. And in the event that you do, I hope you know I’m staying with you until long after you’ve changed your mind.

[isawallflower]

[ For a moment, Riley sits there quietly, until she finally feels like she can lift her head to meet his eyes. ]

If I say I don't deserve you, you'll be cross, won't you? [ She sighs. But she still feels so warm. ]

I know...I'm not the same as them. But I can't stop seeing all the ways that could change. Seeing them as fact. [ ... ] And you're...still gonna be here...even if I think that?

[digiorno]

[Huffing out a quiet laugh, he shakes his head.]

I generally feel I don't deserve you either, so no, I won't.

And yes, I'll be here no matter what you think. No matter how ugly or presentable it is. You can't get rid of me, Riley Williams. Easy to catch, impossible to cure.

[isawallflower]

[ It squeezes at her heart. Riley gives him a teary smile, big and wide and bright. ]

There was nothing easy about you to catch, Giorno. [ Thank you. ]