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[isawallflower]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, CHEERYCHERRY. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 019.46.820.17 *** CHEERYCHERRY has joined 019.46.820.17 <CHEERYCHERRY> It's Riley! <CHEERYCHERRY> Please leave a message! <CHEERYCHERRY> Please be someone with their priorities sorted out properly!

main: CheeryCherry
anonymous: panthera, aed
retired: gflynn (anon)

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[isawallflower]

[ Hopefully, Steve's eyes haven't quite adjusted; his soft gaze just makes her look away and try to shift, so she can support him better. ]

How long was it... [ Riley shivers involuntarily, remembering the sight of it bulging under his skin. ] God- when you...dropped me off, was it already there?

[hairday]

[ His lips firm up, not quite wanting to answer, though she might be able to wager a ballpark guess from the look in his eyes. That creature was there when she got out of the car the first time. It was there the day before, when she'd checked in to see whether he still had an opening to give her a ride. It had been there even before that, when they'd had a perfectly cheerful conversation while walking into the 38-8 lobby.

When she asked about the animals, he'd just wanted to clarify. With this question, he realizes. It's just going to lead to another, isn't it? And another. ]

None of this is going to make you feel any better, Riley.

[isawallflower]

[ Riley wants to fight back the shiver that look inspires.

She can't. ]

Nothing is going to make me feel any better. [ Not after all this. She looks pale and a little haunted. ] I just- I just wanted to know what was...actually you.

[hairday]

[ And she has a right to know.

Christ, there's only one thing she could have said to make him tell her, and it was that. Maple finally gets some attention, Steve's fingers curling weakly into his fur. Another thing to ground him while he searches the haze of last week for the de facto truth. ]

Monday, it was a Monday. If I looked at a calendar, I could tell you for sure... but I think it was the tenth.

[ When it happened is easier to remember than all the time in the middle. But now he's also been reminded of the one simple thing he still hasn't been able to grasp. ]

What day is it now?

[isawallflower]

[ Over a week. He was like that for over a week before she even knew.

Riley feels like that thing's crawling over her all over again. ]

Oh my... It- ...it was, uhm... It was the 21st, when I last— [ was alive. No. No, no, she can't tell him that. ] That I...last remember. But, it's later now. Maybe the 23rd?

[ It's still dark out, so it's hard to tell. She tries to play back the hours but— but she wasn't keeping track, after she woke up in a weak body, gasping for air despite the sound of teeth crunching her spine echoing fresh in her ears.

She's trembling. ]

[hairday]

[ Thirteen days.

In thirteen days, how many people did it lure to that construction site, or places like it? How many whose faces he can't even remember are there out there now, having bad dreams of his? And is it awful that all of that matters less to him than Riley the moment, the second she mentions a similar loss of time?

Three for her.

It's not thirteen, but it's not a relief, either. Three's enough that she's shaking. ]

Come here.

[ He raises his arm to the best of his ability, placing his hand on her shoulder like in January, like in February—like. Similar, but not quite the same. Even though he's half-dead, the way he does it is much surer, which is saying something when he's never been a less than confident person.

The difference between then and now is he's free of any niggling doubt that he's somebody she wants comfort from. ]

There's only one thing I'm good for right now, and I'm gonna do it.

[isawallflower]

[ A little shake of her head, as her neck stretches out in surprise—that little bird thing. It highlights the scar on her neck. ]

St- Steve, no, you're hurt. [ Is it painful for him to move his arm? Is it hurting him, to comfort her? She scoots closer, so they're on the same couch cushion, if only so he doesn't have to stretch. ] I'm— I'm f-fine, I'll be fine, you're the one who's...

[hairday]

You're shaking. I can manage, so please... [ Before he knows it his hand is brushing over that scar that's both distinct and not at all in the half light.

What is that?

He doesn't press hard on the off chance that it's a wound. ]

This isn't from molting.

[isawallflower]

[ Her eyes widen, every so slightly. It's a little pointless to try and hide it, isn't it? ]

It's nothing. [ Yet, her voice shakes. ] It's not... It doesn't hurt.

[hairday]

[ He continues to follow the striation off to side one side, feeling his chest tighten as his fingertips keep finding more. ]

Your arm didn't scar after you broke it. The burns didn't, either. But this... Riley, this goes all the way across...

[isawallflower]

[ As he runs his hand across her neck, he may be able to feel it, her pulse pounding, pounding, pounding. ]

It- it was- it was a worse, um... [ Looking at him, she can't lie. But telling the truth may hurt him more. Her lower lip quivers. ] It's from... It's from revival.

[hairday]

[ That's what he thought she'd say.

He's only seen a monster with fresh scars once before. They were in the middle of an intersection in the dead of night, soaked from head to toe because they'd just finished fishing themselves out of a canal. The one their body had been dumped in.

He doesn't panic. He doesn't do much of anything at all, but that's mostly due to the numbness that washes over him. His hand is still wavering on her neck, where it stays paused for some time until, eventually, he reaches around it and tries to pull her toward him by the nape. ]

I'm sorry.

[ If it hurt. If she was afraid. If she's still hurting and afraid. ]

I'm sorry.

[ The words feel like choking does. ]

[isawallflower]

[ More than anything, Riley wants to tell him that it's okay. She wants to say it's fine. She's alive now, she doesn't...think she's forgotten anything, it was quick—

But the memory of the leadup, of the painful fight and the way Mukuro had expertly shattered bone after bone, the way the hydra pushed the pain onto her so much she felt everything burn, despite the sedative, it all settles inside her like lead and weighs down her tongue.

She's lying to him about so much. She doesn't want to about this too.

Weak and tired, Riley doesn't fight the hug. She pushes her face into his shoulder. Almost childishly she clings to him. ]

Why are you... [ She'd cry again if she had any more tears in her. ] Sorry. Sorry!

[ For hurting him again. For not being able to keep herself safe. ]

[hairday]

[ Why?

He doesn't know what else to be besides sorry. It's done. There's nothing he can do. Nothing, except condense how much he hates that it happened and wishes it didn't into two words.

Nothing, except hold her so she can't doubt that he's here for her, just hoping that it helps. ]

I'm not good at this.

[ Maybe that's his problem, and has been all along. ]

Knowing what to say when someone's really suffering, how to handle it... so if there's anything I can do, please tell me.

[isawallflower]

[ After a long moment of pressing herself against his side and wishing that very act wasn't hurting him, she shakes her head very subtly. ]

I don't... I've never...died before.

[ How weird and fucked up is it that this is their reality? ]

...Just...stay here? For- I'm sorry, I know— just for...a little while.