[He... doesn't understand. Oh, factually, logically: he understands what Riley means. Riley's apology ... is not for dying. It's for the pain that rippled out from it, a riptide that sucked others out to sea along with her. When she said I'm sorry, it's because she regrets that Fugo got caught up in it. That he was left behind, alone, forced to swallow a grief that was too heavy to carry on his own.]
That's ...
[He doesn't know what to say. It feels strange. It feels uncomfortable. ... he survived, didn't he? The pain he experienced, it wasn't truly so unbearable. Riley should focus on herself. She sounds so tired, but she still came here.]
It's ... easy to blame yourself for "shoulds".
["I should have seen it coming" or "I should have known better" or "I should have been better prepared". Things like that. All of Fugo's regrets start with I should have. They're so heavy, but completely impossible to put down.]
But-- ... isn't the important thing that you're here now? You came back to-- [Here, he visibly falters. He wants to say us. But is that really true? Is he really a part of that group? He doesn't know. He feels forever out-of-step with the friends, the family, the heart that Giorno has put together piece-by-piece in Ryslig.] As soon as it was in your power, as soon as it was your choice to make, you came back. You're here.
You don't need to apologize to me. For any of it. [Fugo untangles his fingers. One bony hand reaches up to massage his chest, tight and aching.] It hurt, I knew Giogio would come back. And I knew you would, too.
[Knew isn't quite the word for it. He believed it, against all logic and against all reason. Because if he didn't believe it, he would have simply fallen apart.]
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[He... doesn't understand. Oh, factually, logically: he understands what Riley means. Riley's apology ... is not for dying. It's for the pain that rippled out from it, a riptide that sucked others out to sea along with her. When she said I'm sorry, it's because she regrets that Fugo got caught up in it. That he was left behind, alone, forced to swallow a grief that was too heavy to carry on his own.]
That's ...
[He doesn't know what to say. It feels strange. It feels uncomfortable. ... he survived, didn't he? The pain he experienced, it wasn't truly so unbearable. Riley should focus on herself. She sounds so tired, but she still came here.]
It's ... easy to blame yourself for "shoulds".
["I should have seen it coming" or "I should have known better" or "I should have been better prepared". Things like that. All of Fugo's regrets start with I should have. They're so heavy, but completely impossible to put down.]
But-- ... isn't the important thing that you're here now? You came back to-- [Here, he visibly falters. He wants to say us. But is that really true? Is he really a part of that group? He doesn't know. He feels forever out-of-step with the friends, the family, the heart that Giorno has put together piece-by-piece in Ryslig.] As soon as it was in your power, as soon as it was your choice to make, you came back. You're here.
You don't need to apologize to me. For any of it. [Fugo untangles his fingers. One bony hand reaches up to massage his chest, tight and aching.] It hurt, I knew Giogio would come back. And I knew you would, too.
[Knew isn't quite the word for it. He believed it, against all logic and against all reason. Because if he didn't believe it, he would have simply fallen apart.]