[ She feels the need to defend herself. And she almost does, to say it wasn’t like that all the time. To say she still enjoyed cheerleading, being active and physical. But, well. ]

…No. I mean- I’d listen to…podcasts or music, but… Every time I did something for myself, it was ‘cause…Cai made me.

[ She hunches her shoulders, just a little. ]

I just— it was the only thing I was ever good at, Steve. The only thing I… [ The forbidden topic. Her stomach twists in knots. ] …wasn’t immediately compared to my brother about. I thought if I quit, I…

[ Her skin feels like it’s crawling. She sighs to push back a shiver. ]

I don’t know. I know it all sounds stupid.