isawallflower: (wh-wh-wh-wh-what would you have done?)
𝓡𝓲𝓵𝓮𝔂 𝓦𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓪𝓶𝓼 ([personal profile] isawallflower) wrote 2021-09-14 05:10 am (UTC)

[ It feels like a stab in the heart. It... ]

I don't know. It should be. Everyone keeps telling me it's good to be honest and open up about when something's bothering me.
That's what Cai said I should've done back home. She said she would've helped me.


[ But... ]

But if I am being honest... I don't know.
Whenever I DO talk to others, it's still really scary. I feel like I'm doing something wrong. It feels like I'm doing something wrong right now. I've been trying to cover everything up for so long that it feels like if I keep being honest, it's gonna kill me or something. I keep remembering all the people who told or showed me otherwise and I can't shake it.

So I want to say it's good. I really, really do. Because it does feel good sometimes!! But it feels wrong if I tell you that when it's something that makes me feel like I'm gonna get hurt.
You know?

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